Like an old lady

...correction ... the coolest old lady ever!  Sometimes I get pleasantly surprised on the metro.  Usually there is some jerk clipping his nails or doing something else really disgusting.  Recently, however, I saw this old lady (sorry old lady your sun damage gave you away) with a bangin' mani, which inspired me to have something similar. 

She was wearing something dark, not black, but so darn shiny that it blinded me from a far.  She was totally fierce!

OPI - Midnight in Moscow

In this lighting it looks black, but oh so hot.

Direct sun shows the burgundy tones within.

Simply delicious.

Crisp and classic.  Good job old lady, I strive to be like you one day ... minus the wrinkles.

Look at this crap no one wants in Ulta.  Fail Fiona, Fail.  You are not that fierce. 

Humorous vulgarity ahead

I think we can all agree that Illamasqua is a unique company.  They have a knack for thinking outside the box with pretty much every aspect of their company.  Take a look at any collection they have previously created and I bet money the most common reaction is likely, "wow!"

Part of Illamasqua's charm is their style of product naming, which I find quite entertaining, scandalous, and the perfect breeding ground for vulgar humor ... right up my alley!  The theme and inspiration for "The Theatre of the Nameless" collection seems to be centered around the most illicit of nightlife participants who probably wish to remain anonymous.  However, the polish names in this new collection are so memorable, there is nowhere to hide. 

Please put your mind in the gutter so that we may begin ....

I have to start with this one ...

Illamasqua - Taint
2 coats

Holy shiz ... literally ... the best name for this color considering the location of well ... you know ... the perineum. <---click if you want to brush up on some human anatomy

The formula and brush were very nice for me.

The finish on all of these polishes is a new waxy "rubber-look".  I usually love creams and jelly's, but for some reason preferred the rubber look on all of these.

Here is a comparison between a shiny and a dull Taint.  

Illamasqua - Vice
2 coats

This could use a third coat if you are not a fan of visible nail line.  Also, if you plan to wear this color, it may be necessary to purchase a whip.

Vice does look slightly different in different lighting situations.  More vampy in low light.

Illamasqua - Kink
2 coats

*Random thought* ...
When you were in high school and someone wore green, did you guys used to say they were horny?  Weird, I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Here is another shot showing a shiny and rubber finish. 

Now that you have purchased a whip, you may want to invest in rubber thigh high boots to complete the look ... and get KINK-AY!

And the most difficult one to photograph for last ...

Illamasqua - Faux Pas
1 coat

I had to doctor this photo a bit to get the color right because my camera likes to make it blue.  Although the color is described as a blue violet, it's definitely on the purple side, as shown.

I think the best thing about these polishes are the names and the rubber finish.  I never thought I would like the satin/suede/rubber finish, but since these are very basic colors it gives them a little something extra.

And because I can't help myself ...

Look, a Taint on my coffee cup!  

*The polishes in this post were provided by Illamasqua's PR department ... thank you!*

My Dirty Jet

Ummm so I accidentally made a dupe of a OPI's defective batch of My Private Jet.  Actually, NO not a dupe, it's better :P

How did this happen?

I really wanted something brown and burgundy; really rich and delicious. However, after the smoke cleared I some how ended up adding some holo stuff to it and yummy, it became near edible.

(I don't advise the latter)

I probably could have made this more holo; maybe next time.  I like this one as it stands.

2 coats in the sun <3

Gosh I don't know where to start.  How about a comparison first to the defective MPJ:

Mine is on the bottom.
Definitely more burgundy. 

Bottle pic's next!

I think mine is more sparkly too :D





















Alright here is what I used:

Cover Girl - Goddess
ZOMG if you don't have this you should! China Glaze - Fairy Dust is similar.  I'm sure there are others, feel free to leave a comment ...

Color Club - Love Em/Leave Em
Perhaps a more holo version of something would be better

Color Club - Jewel of a Girl

Color Club - Nothing But Truffel


That very first pic is two coats on its own.  Now on to the layering ...

-

OPI Siberian Nights - How lush.  I'm a little mad it looks black most of the time though.

Flash shot!

Seriously, see it's black in most lights.

Natural indirect light.  Still hot though!

Aahh only in the sun do you see the deep purple plum.

One day I woke up to sheet marks! Ugh, it was horrible!! I had to go to work all day like this.  I'm sure I am the only one that noticed.

Came straight home and layered this baby.

Sunlight picture!

It's definitely darker than in the first picture, hu?

I love these fluorescent light pictures.  It makes them so squishy looking.

Here is an incandescent light picture.  Still YUM.

What do you think?

Do my nails look fat?

I posted previously that nails can and will absorb water ... this post is just a proof of concept.

That previous post can be found here and describes how a nail in such a state ought to be treated carefully (i.e. avoid filing, using your nails as tools, or polish application).

Now on to pictures!

Here is my nail in a normal dry state.

Here is the same nail after a long hot shower.

Indeed, it looks like she had a large dinner and has to unbutton her jeans.


That is all.





P.S. The fatness is most obvious when you have a pronounce C-curve for sure. If you're not sure what that is come visit here! *hugs to all <3

Quick Dry Top Coats = Conditional Love

Love, Hate, and Frustration.

These words correctly describe my relationship with quick drying top coats. For many, fast dry topcoats are a game/life changer. However, for me, the constant battle with their faults has soured my love for them; hence my love for them is unconditional. In particular, let's concentrate on Seche Vite because it is by far the most well known and used.

Love

1. One word: Fast. Who could not love a mani that dries to the touch in 2-5 minutes and then fully in 20-40 min. Taking into consideration that a regular mani takes ~3 hours to dry fully after the last coat of topcoat, which does not even include well dried coats of base and color in between, this is tremendous.

2. The shininess that one can achieve is just plain silly.  Simply gorgeous.

This is Essie - Masquerade Ball with Seche Vite.

That pic on the bottom right gives me convulsions.

3. Due to it's thick formulation it provides a nice layer of protection.
Here is a before and after picture using Seche Vite.

Before on the left.
After on the right.
Clearly the one on the right is much thicker.













4. The formula of quick dry top coats sets to a much harder finish. This is a pro from a strength aspect, but also a con because at some point too hard = brittle and chipping can become a problem. I'm not saying Seche Vite alone causes chipping or that it can't be prevented.



Hate and Frustration

The many complaints of fast dry topcoats include:

1. Shrinkage at the tip - Granted this problem can be prevented, here is an example:

I don't normally have this problem because I either wrap the tips or swipe the brush down right at the tip. However, this gets tricky with short nails. Another solution I have seen mentioned on the MUA nail boards is using a traditional top coat underneath the quick dry one. I can't attest to this, but it sounds reasonable.



Anyone have a personal experience with using this technique?




2. Shrinkage at the cuticle - this is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Here is a picture of the franken I showed in an earlier post right after I put on Seche Vite (SV). HELLO Gorgeous!

 EXCEPT, the very next day this happen. wtf.

This is another example with a different franken (another blue one). This is the day of application with SV.

First, excuse the rando fuzzy, but this is the day after. The problem occurs when you don't encapsulate the polish as a whole.  Had I left a larger gap between the cuticle and polish, I could have avoided both shrinkage at the cuticle and touching my cuticle with Seche Vite. However, I got so close with the actually polish color it was impossible to "encapsulate" the polish without flooding the cuticle.









So of course you're probably saying to yourself "hey dummy, leave a larger gap." To be even more difficult ... another pet peeve of mine is a large (and growing) gap between the cuticle and color. Sometimes performance tests will be ended short due to this annoying gap from regrowth. So, what I am saying is I struggle with this problem.

Perhaps a regular top coat under Seche Vite would help solve this. Any advice from others? 


3. Dulling after a day or two. Sometimes this dulling is only visible with camera flash, but otherwise since I apply a coat of clear every two days or so to make mani's last longer this is not such a big deal.

4. More chipping than a regular top coat.

Quick dry top coat formulations may

a.) be incompatible with certain polishes (or with your own nail chemistry) OR

b.) dry to a much harder finish in comparison to the flexibility of the nail or polish underneath.

Thus in both cases the polish is much more likely to chip because there is not as much "give" as in the natural nail.

The top coat I have pictured is Seche Vite Ultra-V. It's suppose to be Seche's version of a UV curable top coat. It is absolute crap. Not only does it chip like crazy, but it's a fake UV activated top coat. None of the ingredients listed require UV to cure, so what up wit dat?







5. Thickening of the formula.

About half way down Seche Vite can get a little thick, but that's not something a little nail thinner can't cure. 
















6. Incompatibility with some base coats/colors.
Some people report Seche Vite (and only SV) peeling off in layers with certain polishes. I have not had this happen to me often enough to make any comments, nor have I studied the ingredients to judge it fairly from a scientific point of view ... so that is very unhelpful of me on both accounts. However, from a very simple point of view, obviously the formulas don't want to play nice.

What base/color/SV combos do not work for you?

At the very least now we can all unconditionally love Seche Vite together. Yay! What other quick dry top coats do you love?

Color Club Red Velvet

I feel like another dark this week. China Glaze's Lubu Heels was on my mind.  Unfortunately, I was not happy with Lubu Heels several months ago since it needs like 3 coats (or 2 thick coats, which takes for ever to dry) to get opaque, so I added black pigment to it. Now the formula is all off and I have not really worn it since. I do however have Color Clubs Red Velvet which looks like a decent dupe.  So here it is.

Base: L.A. Colors base/top
Color: Color Club Red Velvet x3
Top: Seche Vite (x2, one each on different days)

In terms of application, it was really easy, but still took 3 thin coats. Eww, oh well.  Since application was so easy I did absolutely no clean up, so be nice if you notice anything.

It basically looks like a black, except for the awesome red glitter in it.  It's not as visible farther away, but up close its pretty sweet.

From what I remember Lubu Heels looked black most of the time without as much glitter, but then again its been like a year since I've worn it.  A comparison of the bottles......

I want to say Color Club has more red glitter, but I don't know since I f*up my bottle of China Glaze :/

I like Red Velvet in general, but it does annoy me.  In all fairness, glitter in general annoys me.  I find it hard to get past the longer removal time and I can't stand the texture.  I used several coats (on different days) of Seche Vite to smooth this baby out.

For this reason I avoid many glitters, my loss I know.

You see what looks like tip wear? Nope that's Seche Vite being stupid.  More on that in another post.














What glitter is worth putting up with for you?

Color Club Jewel of a Girl

I love this color so much I want to marry it, especially if a flash is involved :)

Who doesn't love a collage of thumbs. Here is mine.
What a great dark, vampy, purply brown.  It's somewhat frosty, but a high gloss topcoat makes it less frosty like.













This color is pretty dark.  Here is a picture with flash holding the bottle.

You can barely see the tips, so I decided to take another one with a lighter bottle.

I LOVE IT!

Maybe it's just the season for this kind of color, but I just love wearing it.

It applied nicely and was so easy to control that essential no clean up was necessary. 

Base: Rando L.A Colors base/top
Color: Color Club Jewel of a Girl x2
Top: Sally Hansen Salon clear
A couple days later I put on a refresher of the color and seche vite to refresh it.  We'll see if this affects the wear.

Do you have a vampy you love?

A nice bloody red for the holidays!

I have been looking for a nice red to fit my skin tone for the holiday's.  CVS was having a nice sale on both L'Oreal and Revlon products so I scooped up Revlon's Valentine (730) and Perplex (826) and L'Oreal's Lady Luck (450) and Caught Red-Handed (470).  Perplex is obviously not red, but I had to see what all the hoopla was about from the MUA nail boards.  Today I am going to show Revlon's Valentine.

Revlon Valentine

Base: Sally Hansen Salon Nail Lacquer in clear (x1)
Color: Revlon Valentine (730) x3
Top: None

What a sweet jelly like polish.  I love the darkness of this red.  It feels really rich.

Three coats was just about opaque.

When I first put this color on I felt slightly like an old lady, a la the two fat ladies (especially Jennifer), but I like it a lot!

Here is a picture with flash

Its hard to catch the true color with camera, but these are pretty close.

 Here is a picture with only two coats.  This is still a very nice color but there is some obvious nail line.









Here are a few more:

With flash.

Without flash.
My skin looks a bit washed out, but the color is more accurate.

In terms of application, it went on fairly streak free.  My only problem (with Revlon in general) is that sometimes if the coat is too thick or applied too soon over a previous coat, I get tiny bubbles.  Thin coats are key with ample dry time in between since I don't favor fast dry topcoats.  Top coat was completely unnecessary because the formula was soooo shiny/glossy.  I will however put on a topcoat every day (or other day) to make the mani last.

I hope everyone has a bloody good holiday!
What's your favorite red?

Removing dark colors is a pain. Here is how to do it neatly.