Sunday, May 13, 2012

Backhanded Happy Mother's Day

There are many things I love about my Mom. First, the fact she hates being called "mother" so I reserve it for times I want to get under her skin (or for shits and giggles).

I also love that she's the type of mom that as a surprise makes my favorite food even when I tell her I *may* be coming over, not am, may.

But most of all (okay not most of all, but most entertaining) I love how she mispronounces words. Maybe this will only be funny to Russian/Eastern European offspring, but I thought I would share. I'll put these words into context and let you decide for yourself.

1. Many people are not fans of sour cabbage, but when my mom says she's making "sourkraft" I get giddy inside. (sauerkraut)


2. When you get new bedding the set usually comes with sheets, pillow cases, etc. If you get the deluxe set, they come with "sharms".(Shams)


3. My family has done their fair share of DIY. They have installed wooden floors, built a sauna, and finished a basement or two. Till this day, I will never forget my mom asking me to "come hold the shitrock", so they could finish building the sealing. (sheet rock)


4. I still get all "kids, ear muffs!" when these words leave her mouth... "put your bathing suits on guys, we are going to the bitch." (beach)


5. And finally one of my favs that I've mentioned previously in my Hangnail post. The typical convo goes like this...

Nippers

Mom: "Have you seen the neeeepers?"
Me: "The what mom?"
Mom: "Neeeeepers!"
Me: "Wait, what?"
Mom: "NEEEEPERS!"


To honor my mother on this day, I make fun of her. I'm a terrible child I know.  Actually, I love you Mom; your happiness makes me happy! Hopefully this didn't make you cry. That would be terrible of me indeed.

Happy Mom's Day!

47 comments:

  1. You are so cute. I loved this.

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  2. awwww. this was sweet! the shitrock one was the best! make a video of her saying it! i love listening to russian people talk!

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    1. Lol, I must be sneaky and set up the cameras!

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  3. Neeeeeeeeeppers is still my favourite. Although the going to the bitch is a close second!

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  4. Your mom's accent reminds me of the mama of the Romanian kids I nannied for. We all still call the kitchen the chicken because Nicki would call it that. "I always get confused and say chee-ken for kee-chen". Dammit Loodie now I miss Nicki and the kiddos =(

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    1. Oh I bet, Romania is close. Omg that is adorable. I might try to trick my mom and make her believe she's been saying "kitchen" wrong this entire time and that its time to start calling it by it's proper name "chee-ken". Oh man that would be epic.

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  5. I can't get enough 'Neeeeeeepers'....I love your Mom and I don't even know her :) Maybe we can all go the bitch? LOLz :) PS, my new doctor is Russian, and all of her staff is also. Seems like most of her patients are as well (I think I may be the only non-Russian...I came to this conclusion while waiting in the exam room- I noticed that all of the 'drug' posters for meds were in Russian...they are probably wondering why I am there!). I LOVE sitting in the waiting room and listening to them speak Russian to each other. I cannot get enough... dasvidaniya (spelling?) just has such a beautiful sound!

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    1. Okay, first and foremost, I love your new picture!!!
      Second, we can only go to the bitch because I have no idea what this other thing they call a beach is.
      Last, I am not surprised you are surrounded by ruskies. It's like someones child becames a doctor and the entire community flocks in hopes of a discount? Lol I don't know. That or their English is so poor this is the only person that can treat them properly.

      Yes, Dasvedanya (good bye), I hope you say it to them, they'll love you for it!

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  6. Love this! What a cute post :-)

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  7. That is so hilarious. Your love for your mom shines in every word. I give my mom a hard time about things and she busts my arse, right back. It's a bonding thing. :D

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    1. Hahaha. Truer words have never been spoken!

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  8. Hahahahaha still laughing SO hard at NEEEEEEEPERS! But seriously - going to the bitch? Awesome!

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    1. Clearly you like bitches. Your avatar is you on a bitch, but not in a sexual way.

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  9. I'm Polish, and I mispronounce words sometimes too even though my English is pretty good... My boyfriend never corrects me lol He even tries to mispronounce some words and wont tell me the correct pronunciations just so I keep saying it funny. Yeah, that's what I have to deal with every day lol

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    1. Haha, yes! That's awesome. Keep it going, it never gets old.

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  10. Awww this was adorable!! I'm usually the one mispronouncing things around here - I'm french in an English majority! But I don't mind being made fun of - it's funny to me too!!

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    1. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. Besides it's all out of love!

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  11. Awww! However, after hanging sheetrock, your Mom is saying it right!!!

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  12. Replies
    1. My mom inadvertanly expanded my cursing vocabulary. Two birds one stone, go mom!

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  13. I remember your neeeeepers story cause my mom calls them snip snips. She also mispronounces mozerella as moootzerelle! Am loving your mom's going to the bitch-that's priceless!

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    1. "mootzerelle" isn't really a mispronunciation, it's the Italian way of saying "mozzarella", although it's actually more like "mootz-a-dell" with the Italian accent. :)

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    2. I also like to put my cupped hand in the air, with my thumb touching the rest if the four fingers and wave it around as I say "mooza-della".

      It makes it feel really official and worthy to eat this delicious cheese.

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  14. Oh I couldn't stop laughing when I read this. I even read it twice! My mom is American and learned French when she moved here about 30 years ago. She still mispronounces so many words and expressions and it always makes me giggle inside!

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    1. It's the best! I cherish it, really. It's just one of those things that will always make us smile.

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  15. I wonder now, how close the Russian accent is to a Filipino accent? Cause this all sounds very familiar to my fathers filipino family. All us "kids" (all my cousins) would always make fun of the adults and their accents. One of my aunts says afro, apro.....apperently they can't pronounce f's.....food becomes pood....and so forth, lol!

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    1. I have a Filipino friend/co-worker and his accent can be very amusing. His R's sound more like D's, so we got a good chuckle when he had to go to "Judy Dudy" (Jury Duty) :)

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    2. @Angie I want to be a fly on your wall at a large family gathering. That would absolutely make my day!!

      @Pink Pamalamma - hahahah dooody. Awesome.

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  16. LOL love the post. Like Angie above, I have a Filipino friend and her mum is always changing the bedshits and plastering the holes in the shitrock!

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    1. Omg I nearly peed my pants reading that comment.

      "changing bed shits" ... I'm sorry her house is full of constant bed shitters. Aren't there adult diaper options?

      "plastering holes with shitrock" ... I mean if she's got a house full of bed shitters, I say she's being resourceful. The DIY probably goes something like this:

      Step 1. Allow the bed shitter to complete their business.
      Step 2. Allow the business to harden to a rock.
      Step 3. Fill wall hole with newly cured shit rock.
      Immigrants are ingenious.

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  17. You said:

    Till this day, I will never forget my mom asking me to "come hold the shitrock", so they could finish building the sealing.

    LOL "sealing." Unintentionally hysterical.

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    1. LOLOL. I'll take a double funny anywhere I can get it! The fouler the better. :P

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  18. NEEPERS!!! I still remember the first time I saw you write that...when I bought my set...I said it in my head ROFL!

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  19. "Shitrock!" LOL!!!
    My mother came to this country from Ireland. She has a way with words, too. :) Your mom sounds delightful!

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    1. Oh man Irish accents are so interesting! I have to admit, I think I've only ever heard them in movies

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  20. This is hilarious! I hope your mom was not too hurt. :)
    And "sourkraft" Yumm! I love when my mom makes it. There is nothing better than Russian "sourkraft" :)

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    1. I agree, it's nothing like the canned stuff they have in America. We usually eat it with some onion and a bitt of sunflower seed oil. Like heaven!

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  21. What a great blog u have !!!!!��

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  22. I know I'm late to the party but this is adorable. My dad was from Mexico and had a heavy accent. I always picked on him about it. (fair is fair since he picked on me pretty regularly too.) I was helping him cook once and he asked me to hand him the, "little." I asked him what he meant and he said, "You know that thing that scoops the food."
    "OOOH you mean the LADLE?"
    "Little-ladle you KNOW what I mean!"

    Awe I love it.

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